It’s a quest and it’s worth it!

It’s a quest and it’s worth it!


A thought has been loitering in my brain for the past few days on how important it is to ‘find yourself’. Although it is a term that caught my eye while skimming through my anthropology readings (don’t ask me why I need to learn anthropology to major in business because that’s a mystery I am still trying to solve), it’s a thought that’s been filling my mind even before I read that(more like glanced at it) and the reading merely gave me a term to associate my thought with. I look back at myself and realize perhaps the only part of me that is similar to the I that exist today is the fact that I’ve been trying very hard to find myself…always. I’ve sat back and wondered my reason, my existence and my importance. There has been one thing I’ve always really wanted is to always be smart and never be stupid. The funny part is I didn’t realize that wont be so easy and life does have its ways of telling you that. Just yesterday I sat through staring at the fourth ‘C’ I received for that one class I have been slaving off for months, the stress I’ve had is beyond words and the stress that lies on my head right now is unexplainable. I’ve been feeling stupid, for quite an extended period, feeling down and at times worthless. While all this drama happens, the voices in my head is trying to make itself heard, trying to tell me something I am trying way too hard to decipher. Theres so many dilemmas and I am at that phase in life where I am not sure what I want out of myself. I try to analyze me, judge me but then I fight myself not to every time remembering how much I have discovered and understood myself. I’ve broaden my horizons from what they used to be (a pipe line i guess) and one thing I know for sure is that I don’t know what I want to do in life. Gosh…dont tell me im the only senior in college who thinks that please…like pretty please… 😛

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Apart from taking off on a shopping spree whenever I’m stressed, I also write, it makes me feel so much better (after that I’m stressing about some of the nonsense I make you nice humans read 😛 ) and intriguing part is I never used to do this before, I never knew penning down my thoughts would calm the hay fire in my head. Throughout my life I have always adored myself (not in that conceited way..) and I really think everyone should adore thyself. Now that does not mean you need to hang your nose from above but it means you need to know that you are human, you aren’t perfect  and life stops only when you stop so give it a another try with.Like seriously…if you don’t think you’re an awesomesauce (been wanting use that 😉 ) no ones gonna think you’re an awesomesauce and I’ve always believed that no one can love and care for you as much as you can so why not invest a lot of time ensuring you know yourself. Those hours of ‘ME’ time is tailor-made for this purpose. However let’s be real, there comes a time or two or a few million when you wanna take all the stupidity out of you and bury it deep in the earth’s core. But that’s ok. You’re just a little human. Life may not be easy but it will definitely be worth it 🙂

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2 thoughts on “It’s a quest and it’s worth it!

  1. I enjoyed reading this!
    I totally get what you meant about not knowing what you want to do in life. The roller-coaster ride is what makes us feel alive, I guess.
    Don’t worry though there are plenty of people just like us! 🙂

    Like

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